Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Bad Gifts?

OMG, I haven’t blogged in so long I forgot my username and password and I swore when I started I wouldn’t be one of those bloggers that start and then only blog infrequently --- but then life happened or more descriptly didn’t happen (at least not the way I imagined) and the blog became the least of my concerns. But today on my loooooooong drive to work I made a promise to myself that I would at least write a little something. The question then is what to write about, needs to be something positive, and then on the looong drive home it hit me.

On the radio they were talking about the worst gifts to give and receive and I was shocked that #1 was something home-made. Maybe my shock comes from my love for giving homemade gifts. I love to receive them too. In fact I pride myself on the createdd gifts, especially those that come from the kitchen. I've always thought that the recipients loved them as well --- these are not the yucky fruit cakes and rumballs your grandma used to make --- I make only the good stuff. Perhaps I'm extra sensitive this year without a kitchen and I'm going into baking withdrawals. But it's not just the baked items, but the created ones --- scrapbooks have made people cry, knitted items are a huge hit, the only bomb I've had was an attempt at jewelry making back in high school. I learned the hard way that all are not appreciative of the thought and effort that goes into an effort and looking back it may not have been my best creation but I still think it was cool. Just that my sister at the time was too shallow to appreciate it. So now I wonder why grown adults don't appreciate the handmade gift. Handmade gifts are the true spirit of Christmas. It shows that the creater has spent money(yes plenty of money goes into those creations--- sometimes more than others spend on a gift certificate or cheesy item from the store. The creator also spends an even more valuable resource in today's word TIME dozens off cookies don't bake themselves overnight, knitted scarves take hours of work. Most importantly the giver has given a piece of themselves, art in whatever form comes from within and sometimes that piece is very difficult to give away. For me I have trouble expressing myself in other ways, but when I give a created gift I hope that it says I love you. At least that's how I feel when I get a handmade gift even if it's not as beautiful as something in a store. I know the person giving has thought about me throughout the process and that's means so much more to me than thinking they popped into a mall and chose a random gift.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Circle of Life

I suppose in our lives there are many times when we feel like we've come full circle. I've been feeling that since I returned to Colorado, everything is familiar and memories come flooding back at the strangest times.

In a peace making effort my father brought several albums of old pictures to our house about a month ago. Going through reminded me of so many memories --- some happy, some sad and some like this one down right scary.
This picture was taken in front of my dorm room, my first day at CU(the door decoration would change 2 days later to a political statement on gay and lesbian issues, not my choice of course, but a good story for another blog). I can still remember how I felt at this very moment. I had just turned 18 two days before and was about to start college ACK! 1000 miles from home and friends. I remember wanting to throwup as the campus came into few as we drove over the last hill on HWY 36 into Boulder. I sometimes still get knots in my stomach when I drive this way to Boulder.
My college experience, like so many of my memories, is a blur. But I can vividly remember my first few days at CU. I remember skipping the first day of classes to wait in line for football tickets. (This may seem crazy to many of you, especially those who are aware of CU's current status, but in 1990 we were NATIONAL CHAMPIONS and I would make the same choice again) I remember getting lost on campus so many times, I still have dreams about it. The start of the semester was HOT like it always is in August, but September came and so did fall. I can remember the smell, the sounds of the leaves crunching under my feet, seeing people play Lacross for the first time. Most of all I can remember thinking Am I going to make it here? Will I make new friends? What will life bring? I was so full of hope and belief that great things were going to happen to me here, that this was the true start of my life and everything before then had prepared me for what was to come.
Flash forward 15 years...I can't help but wonder if these memories are so fresh because I feel like I'm in the exact same place and really not that much wiser on the life front. I have the same questions returning to CO as I did then, what's missing is the hope and energy I felt back then...what I wouldn't give just to get a little of that back.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Early Bird

Getting up at 5:30 sucks!Being back to work with an hour commute each way has seriously cut into my scrapbooking time, plus I feel the pressure to be social with sister and BIL in the evening so I haven’t had as much time as I would like to scrap.

Here’s a project I did a couple of weeks ago for the DW challenge I love the way it turned out. I’m debating keeping it or sending it off to my older sister for her birthday which I’m just realizing is in a few days ack! Not that our family is big on birthdays, we never have been so there’s not a lot of pressure to send something fabulous.

I also completed another special project for my friend Charlene that I put in the mail today, but I can’t post because I’m pretty sure she’s the only one who might be reading this and I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise. I did post it on 2 peas in my gallery in case anyone else is reading this. No peeking Charlene!

I didn’t quite reach my goal on Halloween cards, but I did get 12 made. Short of my goal of 20, I think I have enough supplies to make a few more, I just don’t have the time or motivation.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Let it Snow...

Not sure how it got to Sunday already, last week is a blur of snow and commuting.
We had our first significant snowfall blow in on Tuesday afternoon. The dogs were in heaven! They jumped and ran and made doggy snow angels. Here are pictures of Kinley and Tanner post snow fun.

But Abby was having none of it because there more interesting things to stare at....

Elk, the whole herd over 75 returned to our yard on the same day as the snow. I took these pictures from where Abby is standing just on our side of the fence.

I was fascinated by the whole group. The bucks seemed to stand at attention and keep watch over everybody. The young ran around and chased each other across the field and the rest were just laying in the snowy ground munching on what’s left of the grass. as bummed as I was about the snow (I could have waited until Christmas for it to come) I was reminded the next day of why I love Colorado --- it was sunny and 50 degrees and most of the snow melted quickly. It snowed again in the middle of the night on Friday and was already melting away by 9 the next morning.

I’m still working in my temp job, its still a painfully boring job --- but I’ve earned enough now to pay my November bills. Hallalujah! The job has also been extended a few days and maybe more and I am happy to stay there until I can find something more my speed. The highlight of my week was visiting one of our sights and hanging out with the kids it was only for a little bit. Even though it’s been recommended that I stay away from youth service for sanity’s sake, I cna’t imagine my life without it.

This week has been a tough one emotionally --- I’ve felt very homesick. I miss my own space more than I could have ever imagined. I miss my friends terribly. I can’t even call anyone because I’m afraid I’ll just totally lose it and start crying uncontrollably, which is happening enough already. I know this move was suppossed to break me out of a rut, but I this week I felt deeper into the rut than I have felt in a long time. I’m starting to lose the little faith I had in myself before coming here. I’m at a loss on what to do next. I feel really stuck without a job and money. I know it will get better, I don’t think it can get much worse (although everytime I think that it does).

Here’s to a better week and hopefully more time to blog.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Oprah for President ?!?

I must have been living under a rock... I just saw a little link on the Yahoo home page a quick gage of Oprah for president, which got me thinking hmm Oprah? Maybe... My curiosity got the best of me and I clicked the yahoo link and discovered a whole world around this idea.

The main website OPRAH08 ( is a kick in the pants, complete with theme song, t-shirts and a letter writing campaign. Apparently (here's where the living under a rock part comes in) Oprah's lawyers sued the web developers and song writer. Oprah has since apologized and insists that she would never run for pres. and can you blame her, it's one crappy job. But what if there was someone Oprah-esque. Someone who had their own money and was not subject to the political corruptness that is rampant in Washington. I know Ross Peirot et al already tried that, but Oprah has more contact with real people with real problems in a year than most politicians and billionaires will have in their entire lives. While I've never been a fan of the celebrity politician, I would probably vote for Oprah --- if Ronald Reagan could accomplish some good things (at least that's what my Republican friends attest although I can't really think of any and neither can they when pressed) imagine what Oprah could do. Oprah has demonstrated an ability to get stuff done and get others to help her --- she's built entire neighborhoods in New Orleans, raised money for African aids, opened youth centers, and is more effective at catching sexual predators than the FBI.
And fifty years from now there would be an Oprah dollar coin with her face and her motto "Live your best life" next to in God we trust. Ok I admit I'm getting carried away by the whole thought and I'm not even that big of an Oprah fan. Oprah was not alone in speculation of celebrity presidents --- Jon Stewart and George Clooney were also thrown into the mix. While I love Jon and George I can't imagine voting for either of them. But any of the three would definitely be a better fit with my ideas and values than anyone in the current administration.
Switching gears just a bit...This picture was the link to the story. It is a horrible picture of O (they wouldn't being using this one on the Oprah coin) I was struck by her resemblance to Michael Jackson. Am I crazy? Is it just me? Does anyone else see this? It is not a good look, O. I know I'm not one to talk sitting in my holey sweatshirt and sweatpants and hair pulled in a ponytail but at least I'm confidant I look nothing like Michael. And that a good thing.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Horoscopes and other stuff

LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22): You appear as busy as a bee in a field of wildflowers, but your looks are deceiving. You might be spinning too many wheels while not getting very far at all. You may feel so lazy that you stay at home and think about all the things you didn't do. Avoid taking the easy way out; don't quit before you even start. Let the day define your pace and keep up with the changes the best you can.

LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22): Your personal weather report includes low brooding clouds and patches of emotional fog that create areas of limited clarity. You may not be sure about where you are going, but using your imagination can help you fill in the details. Be careful, though, for impulsive actions could have negative consequences. Try to stay between the lines.

Boy am I glad I'm not the type of person to buy into horoscopes and I rarely read them, but the first sentence from yesterday's had me stopping in my tracks. I wish it were true. I am not even looking like 'a busy bee', my job depends on others needing help and there's only so many things I can help with in my first couple of days so there has been some downtime which drives me nutty! I'm formatted spreadsheets up the wazoo, check email every 3 or less minutes and nothing. I suppose I could use the downtime to work on my job hunt, but I feel guilty doing that while working here. I've alwasys been very sensitive to using work machines for personal business. This morning I've gotten over my guilt by rationalizing that if I don't work on this blog I will fall asleep which is an even worse work sin than personal use.

Of course after such a funny and slightly depressing horoscope yesterday, I had to read today's to make sure it got better --- but alas it got worse! UGH! But I did have to laugh at the 'personal weather report' I think this would make a great scrapbook page. My whole life has been low brooding clouds and patches of emotional fog that create areas of limited clarity. I'd like to think I am getting better as I get older but the past month has felt like a landslide of emotion.

Good news... If you are living under a rock and not watching my Bronocos on MNF --- they WON! when I was writing my blog at half last night I was a little worried, but they pulled it out in the end. Once again the DEFENSE!!!! saved the day, these guys are incredible. My guy Al Wilson is clearly feeling better and was all over the field and in Steve McNair's face the whole time. Next week the Raiders on Sunday Night...Raiders haven't won a game yet and I hope we romp up the score 60-0. A girl can dream...

Monday, October 09, 2006

A little bit of a rant...

Everytime I think of a rant I think of Dennis Miller and his SNL and HBO rants. Mine are nothing like his, I wish I could be that creative but I do have a couple of things to rant about.

1.Unorganized youth football programs. My brother - in law has coached youth football for the same group for the past 4 years, the first two were great. The last two have been horrible. I have had the opportunity to watch the bulk of the games this year and know Troy is doing the best job he can --- but the league organizers must be horrible. There is no equalization of size/weight and experience among the teams. The top three teams in the league have had 10/11 players on the same team for 3+ years. Only 2 of Troy's kids have played period let alone together. The top three teams appear to have a huge height and weight advantage. I'm not usually one to cry unfair, but he has had an 11 y/o tear an ACL and can't play any sport for 2 years. While this is a common injury in high school and above, in my history of working with youth I have never heard of an 11 y/o tearing an ACL in an organized sport. 11 y/o muscles are extremely pliable, think jello as youth grow. If it was a broken bone I would understand. If this injury was alone I wouldn't be upset but his other key player has a torn quad muscle again a very difficult injury for an 11 y/o. These issues have made for a miserable year of football and Troy spends months planning. The worst part is the league doesn't seem to care, Troy tried to be a good sport and be part of the rules committee preseason, but the organizers did nothing to equalize the teams. The final straw Troy wrote to the head of the league today and got zero response. Very unprofessional, as an expert in youth development organizations I find this despicable behavior. Caring adults deserve better and most importantly the kids deserve better.

Rant #2...'Special People' Why of why do some people think that they do not need to merge when construction reduces the lanes in the road. I'm not one for road range, but I wonder what goes on in the heads of these people, can you not read? do you think the rest of us are stupid? and why oh why should I let you in --- newsflash I am going to do everything in my power to not let you in and I hope that every car behind me does the same. If I ran a monarchy, I would fine these idiots at least $500 and make them sit on the side of the road for an hour --- like a driver's time out.

ooh my Broncos are suffering tonight---a very yucky night rain/snow and cold.

thrifty scrapper update, I found a piece of green patterned paper in my stash that works with the other items and I've made 4/20 cards I was shooting for.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

The thrify scrapper...

Here are the great cards(...well I think they're great) I made yesterday and didn't have a chance to post. I got the basic idea to use paint chips from the DW calendar. I decided that I'm going to challenge myself to make as many cards as possible from 1 12x12 sheet of patterned paper, two sheets of stickers, and some misc ribbon and cardstock from my stash. I'm shooting for 20 cards, is this realistic? we'll see...I'll keep you posted.

It's chilly and raining today. The dogs are a total mess, muddy and wet they are banished to the deck until they dry off. I don't know how we'll ever get them clean. I really need to find a do it yourself doggie wash somewhere close by. Poor Tanner was a mess before this and now he just looks like a total rag - a - muffin.

So tomorrow I'm back to work at 7:30 am. and it may snow tonight so it maybe a fun morning all around. Probably have to get up at 5:30 or something ungodly like that. I'm secretly hoping that I will get there faster than I think I will.

Saturday, October 07, 2006


Here it is my journal to prepare for the CK Hall of Fame contest. There are some parts that I just love and others not so much. I'm not really happy with the letters, I didn't have the 'h' from the basic grey chipboard set so I matted the letters on thinner chipboard and then hand cut, I wish they were just a bit thicker. I do love the 2007 with Heide chipboard. I altered the BG Lily Kate paper just a bit. The circles used to just be on the side but I cut them out and moved them to the main design. I wish the goose stood out a little bit more. My favorite part of the book it the tabs which I made out of the insides of the 'O' and other circular letters. I thought this was pretty creative of me, too bad it wouldn't be considered a really innovative technique. I'm getting better at making the most of my scrapping supplies, or at least trying to. I'm totally addicted to altering notebooks.

Big news! Yesterday I started a 3 week temping job, so nice to know that I will still have money coming in the door although significantly less than I'm used to. It was my first time working in almost 3 months and I felt a little slow getting into the grove of things, but the work is fairly mindless, there's no fires for me to put out and I can leave at the end of the day with out bringing work worry home or thinking that my cell is going to ring at any moment which are all nice changes. ( sentence).

I spent sometime today scrapping and making a couple of cards. Just a few snapshots of a recent trip to CA.

oops didn't realize what time it was. I have to go have dinner with my biological dad and our relationship is rocky at best. I'll post the cards tomorrow.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Today Is A New Day...

If you were totally depressed by yesterday's post, don't worry today is a much happier post.

1. I have leads on a couple of temp jobs so back to work I go, I'm so relieved to have some money coming in. My list of things to buy when I get a job keeps growing.

Today's addition to the list tickets to the Who concert in Novemeber. Yes I am a classic rock chick. But to be honest, as great as the Who is, I am even more excited about the opening act...The Pretenders. I sooooo wanted to be Chrissy Hynde when I was young, she is just the coolest ever.

2. "A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind". After you get past the burst of anger and grief in Chapter 3 of the The Artist Way there was a very encouraging passage about serendipity. So I need to get prepared...

I have been seriously thinking about the CK Hall of Fame contest. The assignments are very tough this year. The thought of serendipity applies directly to the first assignment. Develop an innovative technique. Tough because it seems like everything has been done, I had a great idea and then read this month's magazine and sure enough my idea was in there so now I need to come up with something else. Plus I don't consider my self a particularly innovative person so I was discouraged by this assignment. But....I'm not going to use it as an excuse to quit (at least not yet,) the deadline isn't until Feb. so there's still plenty of time to come up with something.

Ao to prepare I started a special notebook yesterday, hopefully I'll finish it today and post tom.

The positive thought for today "Action has magic, grace and power in it"

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


"This week you may find yourself dealing with unaccustomeed bursts of energy and sharp peaks of anger, joy and grief." The Artists Way

This is one the first page of Chap. 3 and describes my life right now better that any words I could come up with.

Burst of Energy came Saturday as I went to the 2 peas crop I had been planning on for a month. I was so proud of the kit I put together and excited to see what others would do with it. Once I got there it felt like 'coming home' for the first time since I left AK. The gals were so welcoming. Even though there was intense pressure of the time limit, I felt an energy and joy for scrapping that I haven't felt in a long time.

2.5 hours into the crop the bomb dropped and energy shifted to grief.

Abby had attacked Lindy again. I needed to come home immediately.

Since then i have been struggling with overwhelming grief and emotion. Yesterday I was physically ill and could barely function.

I know those around me think I should give Abby up, that the two dogs are just too much for me right now. They say they understand that the dogs are all I have right now, but they truly are my source of strength and security and a reminder of happier times. Every time I think of giving Abby up I start to cry. The other option is to keep her muzzled and crated at all times, which I have been doing for the past three days. But she looks miserable--- it has ripped the spirit of a once happy go lucky dog.

Then there is sweet precious Lindy who has several stitches and a drain in her back and I cry looking at her. Troy says he will take her to another family member's house when she heals until I am out on my own again --- but that seems like a horrible option too. It's their house my rational mind says that as the guest it should be my dog that goes. I wish there was another way but the Vet said that this happens sometimes between two females and that they're so territorial that Abby will try to kill Lindy any chance she gets.

The situation is made all the more bleaker(great english huh) by my pathetic job search. I would probably feel better about my decision to keep Abby if I felt better about getting a job in the near future, but after three weeks of applying for jobs, I have yet to get an interview. I really didn't expect it would be this hard.

To compound matters, my mom has gone back into super worry mode. She and my sister don't understand that I don't want or like to talk about my feelings the way that they do...and because I'm not talking something must be drastically wrong. This is the part that makes me angry. I wish they could just accept me as I am.

But today is a new day...
Think. Create. Rejoice.
is my new motto --- at least for today. I really wish I could steal Oprah's Live your best life if only I could figure out what my best life is...I do know this is not it. It involves...

Friday, September 29, 2006

I love fall

I came across these precious purple flowers. It's almost as if they're the last piece of summer holding on for as long as they can to remind us that even though winter is coming summer will come again.

One of the many reasons I love fall is that it is a feast for the senses. Leaves and color changing for the eyes.

For taste, it's time for one of my favorite treats... Caramel Apples. Yumm-O. I like to make them myself...whenever I buy them at the store the apples always seem to be mushy and I like my apples crisp, plus you can sneak a couple of caramels during the unwrapping process. I made a few for a special treat the other night and this was the only one left today so I had to rescue it from it's loneliness.

Finally a little something for the sense of smell, nothing says fall like Pumpkin and I'm a sucker for a good pumpkin spice candle. Funny because I'm really not of pumpkin pie but I love the way this candle smells, it just makes me feel warm and cozy.

Tomorrow is a big day...the Colorado 2 Peas circle crop is finally here. I have been looking forward to meeting other Co scrappers and it's been a month in planning. I have everything packed up and ready to spend an evening scrapping tom. The challenge is to complete 12 2 page mini layouts in about 9 hours, basically a half hour per layout. Since I'm a super slow scrapper, I'm a little worried about the time crunch, but excited at the thought of coming home with a completed album. Of course that's what they said about CKU and I just finished my last project this week...but this time other's are doing the work for my book. We had a fun set of questions/quizzes to start the thought process. I'll post the finished project on Monday.

Thursday, September 28, 2006


It's a crazy world, the latest evidence is the shooting and hostage situation in Bailey. The now famous Bailey Colorado is about 15 miles south of where we live and we just passed this school on our scenic drive on Sunday --- it's a beautiful school, but it is in the middle of nowhere, it's a good 5 miles south of town and surrounded by farm land and foothills. What possesses a person to go into a school and start shooting. After Columbine and others I know that lots of research and funding has gone into anti-bullying efforts. Which is great...but leaves me thinking what else can be done. There is part of me that hopes this man was high on something although from reports it doesn't sound that way. Why do I wish he was high? at least then there would be some reason and under the influence would exclude rational thought. The polly-anna in me just doesn't want to believe that a rational thinking individual could do something like this. For those of you that know me, you know that polly only exists in my mind. In reality, I am a risk management guru all about keeping kids safe...designing lockdown drills, researching pedophiles, preparing staff and youth for other crisis situations. But these kind of situations rock my world, because I know that despite all of our best intentions and practices we can't prevent a situation like this, only take precautions to minimize the impact and live with the consequences. The living with will surely be hard for the survivors of this tragedy.

Switching to good news...MY CAR IS HERE!!! YAY...
I am no longer bound to my sister's travel schedule or good heart to let me borrow her car. So where did I head first, why Costco of course, having no job and limited funds I don't have many options. Not that Costco is cheap, but I have become really good at just buying needed food items --- and in a fit of domesticity I divided everything up into individual freezer bags and pre-chopped veggies. Maybe all my Rachael Ray watching is finally wearing off. On the downside of having a car, it's time to start following through with my plans to temp until I find a full-time job. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

The List Part 1

This week's challenge is to list 20 things that you enjoy doing and note the last time you did these things. Funny, I used to do this as part of my 'Avoiding Burnout' workshop, but don't think I've ever done it for myself. I used to say if you can't come up with 20 you're in danger. At this point I know I'm deeply burned and it will be a struggle to personally get to 20, but here particular order

1. Go Dancing.................................. September 05
2. Take dogs to dog park.................. August 06
3. Bake cookies.................................December 05
4. Read a cheesy romance................ Last Week
5. Visit used book store..................... Last month
6. Have coffee w/friends.................. Last month
7. Agility class w/dog........................ 18 months
8. Swim ........................................... ???
9. Scrapbook.................................... Yesterday
10. Paint........................................... ???
11. Horseback riding......................... 3 years
12. See a movie................................. July 06
13. Scenic drives............................... Sunday
14. Go to a pro-sporting event............ ???
15. Get a mani/petti.......................... 2 months
16. Knit............................................. Sunday
17. Lift weights.................................. Too long
18. Take a bubble bath...................... 6 months
19. Go to a concert ............................ 4 years

Seems silly that I can't come up with one more thing, but the last 10 or so were really a stretch so I'll leave the last one and let something come to me. The next part of the challenge is to pick 2 to do in the next week. The easy way out would be to pick scrapbooking and knitting since I know those will happen and don't depend on a car or someone else. I think I'll also add bubble bath to the list for this week. Definitely doable. Some of the things on this list I wonder if I'll ever do again.


20. Ice Skate..........................10 min last winter
{How could I forget, I love to skate. Unfortunately make excess weight makes it really painful to skate right now. One more motivation to lose weight. I really need to write down those motivations at some point, maybe tattoo them to my hand so when I am tempted to pound down jelly beans or Cheetos I'll remember.}

I don't know why I say I might never do things again, it must be the depression talking. I just can't see myself swimming or riding a horse or even dancing right now. So I'll need to find joy in the things I can do.

****Affirmation Time****

  1. Show up at the page. Use the page to rest, to dream, to try. Will make a CK HOF journal by the end of the week to start noting ideas for entry.
  2. Fill the well by caring for my artist.
  3. Set small goals and meet them. One project per day. One submission per week. Yesterday I finished the last of my CKU projects and started a new mini album w/Imagination Project goodies
  4. Remember that it is far harder and more painful to be a blockeed artist than it is to do the work.
  5. Choose companions who encourage me to do the work.
  6. Remember that it is my job to do the work, not judge the work.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Happy Monday

Weekend Good Things...

The Broncos won in a definitive fashion, finally scoring a touch down after what seemed an eternity. I've been a Broncos fan for as long as I can remember and it's so nice to be back among the faithful. This season has been off to a rocky start so it was refreshing to see the Broncos knock out the Pats 17-7. Can you say DEFENSE? This years 'D' is fricken awesome. The 4Q last night was the first time they allowed a touch down all season, 11 quarters, the last time a team did that was 1942. Sadly my favorite player on D the great and mighty Al
Wilson was hurt last night so he didn't see as much action as normal the rest of the crew totally stepped up. And for the first time this season the O came to play, a refreshing change from the first two games.
Go Broncos!
My college team the 'once mighty' CU Buffs almost beat Georgia on Saturday. Why is a loss a good thing? well it's the closet we've been to a win all season and Ga. was ranked 9th so maybe new coach Dan Hawkins and the crew have it figured out as we go into the Big 12 season. Maybe...
We took a scenic drive into the high country yesterday hoping to catch the Aspens in their full glory, but we were too late. Most at the higher elevations lost their leaves already, probably in last week's storm. The trees at mid level are just starting to change. Nothing made me say stop the car I want to take a pic, but I'm not yet totally comfortable with my sister and BIL on these kind of trips. If I were by myself I probably would have taken several. Hopefully my car will get here this week and I can go back out. On our drive we visited the famous 'South Park' really known as Fairplay, Co. No Cartman or Kenny sightings sorry.
Sadly we took too long on our drive and the roast my sister had in the oven burned and shrunk to the size of a nice T-Bone by the time we finally got home, an hour later than planned. I felt bad for her as it's the one thing she feels confident to cook and she was so sad. On a sweet note my BIL said he would eat it anyway. How's that for love or guilt, either way pretty sweet. No one ended up eating the roast, I made burgers instead.
In my last post I mentioned the rules of the road for artists...again from the Artist's Way. There are a few interesting thoughts that go along with the daily affirmations. I've been trying to focus on a few of my favorites.
1. Show up at the page. Use the page to rest, to dream, to try. I think I have become a little more successful at this and trying to do something 'creative' each day. Both days this weekend the dogs woke me up early and I used the time to organize my tools and just play with a few new things.
2. Set small and gentle goals and meet them. I have set the goal of submitting at least one thing to a call per week and spending at least 30 minutes/day working on my stuff.
3.Remember that it is far harder and more painful to be a blocked artist than it is to do the work. I want to say Amen to this, but I also know that I can easily fall into this trap and know how depressed I get when I stop. All motivation to try just gets zapped away.
4. Choose companions who encourage me to do the work...Thanks Charlene and 2 peas ladies
5. Remember that it is my job to do the work NOT judge the work. This is one of the toughies for me I'm such a critic of my own work. It's sort of sad in a way of all I should be the one that believes in it the most, but no matter how many times I hear praise I just don't believe it.
Funny I'm more comfortable with 'rules' than with affirmations. My Diversity prof would say that's my strong Germanic roots coming through. Oh well, off to create more...

Saturday, September 23, 2006


Yes snow --- September 23 and there was a light covering of snow here in Evergreen, welcome to Colorado high country. Although at 7500 feet it's really 'medium high'. While I was initially bummed to see the snow, within a couple of hours I was reminded of the wonderful difference between CO snow and AK snow --- IT MELTS. Yes I know all snow melts at some point but here it melts the same day or some time in the next couple of days. In melts in May.

Fall colors are at their peak and I am hoping to get out and enjoy them in the really high country sometime in the next couple of days.

It's been a busy couple of days...On Thursday I rented a U-Haul and picked up my stuff from the shipping dock and moved it into storage. After three weeks I forgot how much stuff I had, it was really tempting to bring it all home, but there is just not enough space. So instead I tried to arrange it so I could get to it easily and every time I was tempted to go shopping for scrapbook supplies or clothes I would 'shop' in the storage unit first. Yeah right, we'll see how long that lasts, although my savings for jobless living is just about gone and no job in site so that may help me stick to my savings plan a bit better.

Speaking of no jobs, I did have an interview yesterday for an Asst. Manager at an Archiver's store in the area. While it was significantly less pay than previous positions I was/am willing to take a pay cut to get my foot in the door. I thought it was a great interview, in fact I know it was. Sadly at the end of the interview the manager admitted that they had already started the hiring process with another candidate and would I maybe be interested in a part time supervisor position. I was soooooooooo bummed and I think she may have been to that she jumped the gun just a bit. So we'll see on that note.

Also yesterday... our darling baby Kinley, went in for his 'boy' dog surgery yesterday. Poor thing was really drugged up when we picked him up yesterday. He's back to himself and ready to play today, but he's really not allowed to play at full speed for two weeks, I don't know how we're ever going to keep him calm.

I was able to finish a quick scrapping project yesterday. While it's definitely not perfect, I am reasonably happy with the end result and know what to do different next time. I saw a composition book turned into a purse at Archiver's and decided to try it myself.

This project involves major power tools and my first time using a miter saw. After the initial fear of cutting my hand wore off, it was actually kind of fun. I struggled with getting the right angles and completely destroyed one book trying to get it right. This was my second attempt and it worked much better. So now I have a cute little notebook for my purse.

**** Affirmation Time ****

(yes I am typing these out each time -- no cutting and pasting here)

1. I am a channel for God's creativity, and my work comes to good.

2. My dreams come from God and God has the power to accomplish them.

3. As I create and listen, I will be led.

4. Creativity is the creator's will for me.

5. My creativity heals myself and others.

6. I am allowed to nurture my artist

7. Through the use of a few simple tools, my creativity will flourish

8. My creativity always leads me to truth and love

9. My creativity leads me to forgiveness and self-forgiveness

10. There is a divine plan of goodness for me

11. There is a divine plan of goodness for my work

12. As I listen to the creator within I am led

13. As I listen to my creativity I am led to my creator

14. I am willing to create

16. I am willing to let myself learn to create

17. I am willing to let God create through me

18. I am willing to be of service through my creativity

19. I am willing to experience my creative energy

20. I am willing to use my creative talents.

Next post...The rules of the road: Remember that it is my job to create the work, NOT judge the work and more from The Artist's Way.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


A you can see from my blog description and previous posts I am between jobs at the moment. Mostly by choice (we'll save the 'mostly' for another blog). I have never been one for self help books and their seemingly endless lists of affirmations. When I think of affirmations I can't help but think of Stuart Smally from SNL --- ' I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darn't people like me' I tried to find a video clip on the net to remind all of the classic skit --- alas no luck and back to the topic at hand. Now that I have all of this free time on my hands(more than I was hoping for to tell the truth) I have wanted to spend some time developing my skills in a couple of areas.

1. Creativity --- especially with my scrapbooking I am really hoping to be published in a magazine this year.

2. Job Skills --- specifically finding a job I love and gaining my PHR certification.

So I do what all people do with lots of time on their hands I march my self down to the nearby Barnes and Noble --- Danger!--- and buy a few books.
To address goal #1 I picked up the highly popular and recommended Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and of course it has a series of affirmations to repeat to myself on a daily basis. I once heard that affirmations are like a foreign language that you just need to keep concentrating and repeating and eventually you will be fluent. (Not that it really worked all that well w/high school french) But after a year of being in a deep black hole in this area I am willing to try anything.

So here goes...the daily affirmations:
1. I am a channel for God's creativity, and my work comes to good.
2. My dreams come from God and God has the power to accomplish the,
3. A I create and listen I will be lead.
4. Creativity is the creator's will for me
5. My creativity heals myself and others
6.I am allowed to nurture my artist
7.Through the use of a few simple tools my creativity will flourish
8. My creativity always leads me to truth and love
9. My creativity leads me to forgiveness and self-forgiveness
10. There is a divine plan of goodness for me
11. There is a divine plan of goodness for my work
12. I am willing to create
13. I am willing to learn to let myself create
14. I am willing to let God create through me
15. I am willing to be of service through my creativity
16. I am willing to experience my creative energy
17. I am willing to use my creative talents.

There it is in my print so now I've got to believe, right?. The book is big on writing morning pages and you're supposed to do them in long hand but I figured I'd just post to the blog most of the time as it's a place for random thoughts as well, and at this point very limited readership.

It is my plan to balance my days with job searching, scrapping/creating and studying for the test.

Yesterday I spent more time creating than anything else, but I was very happy with the finished project.
This is a simple paper mache box that I painted brown (not as easy as it sounds as I didn't have any brown paint). I used Heidi Swapp masks for the lid, my first time using these and I was really happy with the way the lid turned out. Sides and inside cut outs are Scenic Route, my all time fav patterned paper. I'm thinking that I might add some small ball feet to give it extra oomph. I'm so happy with it I'm considering using it as my altered item for the 'Making Memories Idol' contest.
Speaking of altered items --- I scored at Target today...composition books for .12! I am trying to figure out how to cut them on the miter saw to get the right angles to make it look like a purse...after destroying 2 books I'll ask my brother in law to help. Asking for help is a big deal for me so we'll see if it happens.
More good stuff is here from Alaska. I just need to figure out how to pick it up --- 3 palettes worth --- and where to store it until I find my own place.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Gone to the Dogs

At no other time in my life has 'gone to the dogs' been more true. I moved to Colorado three weeks ago and am crashing at my sisters house until I find a job and get my own place. Sounds great, right? And it is, but as someone who has worked with only a few vacation days since high school being home is driving me a little batty. My car is still in route from Alaska so I'm pretty stuck.

Enter my companions...

Tanner, my crazy Border Collie Mix
Kinley, the 80 pd Golden baby

Lindy, the cutest Cairn Terrier around

Abby, my all round mutt with superior soccer playing skills.

Aren't they cute? Unfortunately Abby and Lindy had a run in that resulted in Lindy needing stitched my second day here and now have to be separated at all times. So I spend my day letting some dogs in and others out. I have even more respect for the folks that run doggy daycares.

I have been watching a lot of the Dog Whisperer trying to pick up any tips I can. I think I am the pack leader but wonder what Cesear would say. He has also helped me remember that they are dogs --- not people!--- and their feelings are no where near as deep and complex as I give them credit for.

Monday, September 18, 2006

On Hold!

I don't know what it is about about being on hold that sets my heartbeat racing and my inner bitch ready to come out.

It really should be a peaceful experience --- there's nice music sometimes I even get in the grove and start singing along (admit it you have done the same) and hopefully I'll have some resolution to the problem by the end of the call.

But the wait it just kills me--- I know it's probably another 'patience' lesson from a higher power and when I finally get it there will be no need for these tests. In the meantime, I am failing miserably. Pitty the person who gets my call.

Plus I really hate to get angry at the inital service agent. I fell so bad afterward. I have gotten better at starting with a disclaimer when I am really angry something like "I know this is not your fault, but I want to warn you that I am very frustrated and could lose it at any moment" I find this endears the service agent and is sometimes a faster route to a supervisor --- which admit is really who we all want to talk to in the first place. Unfortunetly, the situation I was trying to deal with while writing this blog is going no where and I have to wait 4-6 weeks to get my money back. GRRR...